14 days now?!??!??

Damn this house. Hate every single minute of it since m husband 's kid here. Not happy and yes I try my best to behave not to do anything with that kid. Still know how to get me pretty good. Well fine. I'm done. How long it has been now. Can't really remember when she came back but since I just hate it more and more. Hate the face, hate the sound, hate just everything. Yesterday I walked out with her hair on my purse. Seriously? How the heck it gets on here. Now I'm just extremely concern whoa about my shut down trip. Well I just guess have to be another month of suffering. For now I just know- I hate it. I just feel husband doesn't even care but it has been long before this anyway. His trying to be fun on how others sadness is just get me really bad and still have the face came and ask me whats wrong with me. Maybe should ask himself first is that everything that he does to do, is there any sincere normal people does. Laughing at my fail test, making fun of things that I'm really unhappy for sad about it. Maybe it's just a karma thing that I do the same to others. Damn it- it cameos fast. I usuallydont give a shit to others much. A lot of time I don't feel anything at all. I feel sorry for but I don't feel sorry for if I have an idea of what they should do and such. Well just for now. I hate this house when she is here in every single minute of it.

Just tell me

There is a lot of things that make me not so sure about life. Sometimes I feel I'm in a perfect spot in my life but then there always something make me take back everything that I thought. I should know that's called life but why have to be like this. Anyway what am I talking about. I don't know. The kid that I couldn't stand in the whole wide world is coming back. Sadly if she is somebody else, I will be ignore just glance my eyes to see and there is nobody there but this is my husband kid. That's another story. Still have to interact which I don't even want to or care to do. Guess what I had a moment that I will try to be different but I think I'm thru with it. I will just do whatever I want and ignore it like there is nothing. I won't clean, won't talk, won't care. Whatever he wants me to do. I will do or not. It's up to me. I'm over it. If you don't like, too bad I wont change and either deal or no deal with it. I keep asking the same question... Is he hope she would move back. Answer still as long as she happy, I don't care. After mentioned to his mom she wants to move back. Try so hard to do everything in her favor. Fine ! Do whatever and I will do that too. I don't care anymore. I will do whatever I want.

จุดประสงค์

Just read the webpage from ps tip and they talked about the stray kid that gave him some money. It is sad Read about love of father to his daughter who just got heart broken from her boyfriend. It is sad Read about the guy from food blog about his trip to his hometown. See his house without his mother. It is sad Then something make me realize. There must be some purpose for me to come here. To know two languages. Maybe something that will ve pushing me to do something different than others. I might be a really good teacher. Good mom, good citizen, good navy or whatever. I won't know until I try it. So far I think I do myself pretty good with others. I do great with my job and I do think I do great with my duty that I have. I'm still learning with my firefighter and I feel like it will be no time that I could be proud and not itimidate to say I'm a firefighter. Soon I will be good in thing. Now all I have to do is just realize what else I can do and I can do great with it. I gotta be made for some purposely in life. What make me happy. What make me me and what will bring me to be better. I will try my hard to do thing that I don't like but I will try. They must have purpose for me to be something all I can do right now is be a good person and always learn in things that I don't know and want to know. I'm happy to be me today.

still no exercise

woke up at 30 minutes afternoon -- sis called to go for walk with her or some, but i didn't go.. not in a good mood this morning,but don't worry still now... nothing much going on-- went to sunny side camp for medical call with mikey-- i do like him and respect him,but one thing that i don't get it is-- what is his job- what is more important to him-- i should just follow the protocol and keep it up went to eat that chinese dragon east-- sucks got to use u kotex coupons so spent couple money for it with 8 rr back each time-- 4 times i used went to training about the firehouse-- maybe i might have chance to do that sometime-- gotta have ryan helps with that done for today, i guess--

battleship

so far my keeping diary still pretty good-- abit too late for monday,but at least im still doing it

woke up at noon due to my show and call thing that i signed my away from sleep to

i lke it and i actually enjoy listen to those kids say fun stuffs

okay back to my garden kit-- didn't get it today for 29.99 but guess what how ridiculous thing is on friday i went to ace asking for it, the seller said it will come with truck on monday

monday stopped and nope he said the truck wont come on monday due to memorial day

wtf- how can you run the business on give a promise without thinking

stupid

no professional and more importantly i dont like it

okay well after asking around the price for garden bed kit will be almost 50 dollar-- wtf

oh well i didn't get it,but instead we went to se battleship

movie was okay

i don't care  to own it that mush or i will take it if  it is less than 5 dollars

how about that

like the alien form- look kinda nice

nothing really pop up

okay one thing that i don't get it is why don't people walk to stanger with peace-

smile or hug or simply just talk and be nice-

why have to fear of things

it is just ot make any sense

thing i learn from movie is

always be strong -- nothing can harm you and you will be happy with yourself

people start to hurt you because they have the fear inside and then if they have arm that can hurt you then thing can turn to be bad

that's it

make me have to hurry back to exercise

get myself and my mentally ready

still not ready for that to come back but gotta take it one way or another

not really ready

not ready at all

never want to and never try to

i just dont want to do it

period

then come home watch another movie chronicle- or something like that

interesting movie

sad part - tif he has better brain, he might turn out to be pretty good future

sadly nothing is right in his life

not totally happy day today,but gotta take it

gotta move on