14 days now?!??!??

Damn this house. Hate every single minute of it since m husband 's kid here. Not happy and yes I try my best to behave not to do anything with that kid. Still know how to get me pretty good. Well fine. I'm done. How long it has been now. Can't really remember when she came back but since I just hate it more and more. Hate the face, hate the sound, hate just everything. Yesterday I walked out with her hair on my purse. Seriously? How the heck it gets on here. Now I'm just extremely concern whoa about my shut down trip. Well I just guess have to be another month of suffering. For now I just know- I hate it. I just feel husband doesn't even care but it has been long before this anyway. His trying to be fun on how others sadness is just get me really bad and still have the face came and ask me whats wrong with me. Maybe should ask himself first is that everything that he does to do, is there any sincere normal people does. Laughing at my fail test, making fun of things that I'm really unhappy for sad about it. Maybe it's just a karma thing that I do the same to others. Damn it- it cameos fast. I usuallydont give a shit to others much. A lot of time I don't feel anything at all. I feel sorry for but I don't feel sorry for if I have an idea of what they should do and such. Well just for now. I hate this house when she is here in every single minute of it.

Just tell me

There is a lot of things that make me not so sure about life. Sometimes I feel I'm in a perfect spot in my life but then there always something make me take back everything that I thought. I should know that's called life but why have to be like this. Anyway what am I talking about. I don't know. The kid that I couldn't stand in the whole wide world is coming back. Sadly if she is somebody else, I will be ignore just glance my eyes to see and there is nobody there but this is my husband kid. That's another story. Still have to interact which I don't even want to or care to do. Guess what I had a moment that I will try to be different but I think I'm thru with it. I will just do whatever I want and ignore it like there is nothing. I won't clean, won't talk, won't care. Whatever he wants me to do. I will do or not. It's up to me. I'm over it. If you don't like, too bad I wont change and either deal or no deal with it. I keep asking the same question... Is he hope she would move back. Answer still as long as she happy, I don't care. After mentioned to his mom she wants to move back. Try so hard to do everything in her favor. Fine ! Do whatever and I will do that too. I don't care anymore. I will do whatever I want.

จุดประสงค์

Just read the webpage from ps tip and they talked about the stray kid that gave him some money. It is sad Read about love of father to his daughter who just got heart broken from her boyfriend. It is sad Read about the guy from food blog about his trip to his hometown. See his house without his mother. It is sad Then something make me realize. There must be some purpose for me to come here. To know two languages. Maybe something that will ve pushing me to do something different than others. I might be a really good teacher. Good mom, good citizen, good navy or whatever. I won't know until I try it. So far I think I do myself pretty good with others. I do great with my job and I do think I do great with my duty that I have. I'm still learning with my firefighter and I feel like it will be no time that I could be proud and not itimidate to say I'm a firefighter. Soon I will be good in thing. Now all I have to do is just realize what else I can do and I can do great with it. I gotta be made for some purposely in life. What make me happy. What make me me and what will bring me to be better. I will try my hard to do thing that I don't like but I will try. They must have purpose for me to be something all I can do right now is be a good person and always learn in things that I don't know and want to know. I'm happy to be me today.

still no exercise

woke up at 30 minutes afternoon -- sis called to go for walk with her or some, but i didn't go.. not in a good mood this morning,but don't worry still now... nothing much going on-- went to sunny side camp for medical call with mikey-- i do like him and respect him,but one thing that i don't get it is-- what is his job- what is more important to him-- i should just follow the protocol and keep it up went to eat that chinese dragon east-- sucks got to use u kotex coupons so spent couple money for it with 8 rr back each time-- 4 times i used went to training about the firehouse-- maybe i might have chance to do that sometime-- gotta have ryan helps with that done for today, i guess--

battleship

so far my keeping diary still pretty good-- abit too late for monday,but at least im still doing it

woke up at noon due to my show and call thing that i signed my away from sleep to

i lke it and i actually enjoy listen to those kids say fun stuffs

okay back to my garden kit-- didn't get it today for 29.99 but guess what how ridiculous thing is on friday i went to ace asking for it, the seller said it will come with truck on monday

monday stopped and nope he said the truck wont come on monday due to memorial day

wtf- how can you run the business on give a promise without thinking

stupid

no professional and more importantly i dont like it

okay well after asking around the price for garden bed kit will be almost 50 dollar-- wtf

oh well i didn't get it,but instead we went to se battleship

movie was okay

i don't care  to own it that mush or i will take it if  it is less than 5 dollars

how about that

like the alien form- look kinda nice

nothing really pop up

okay one thing that i don't get it is why don't people walk to stanger with peace-

smile or hug or simply just talk and be nice-

why have to fear of things

it is just ot make any sense

thing i learn from movie is

always be strong -- nothing can harm you and you will be happy with yourself

people start to hurt you because they have the fear inside and then if they have arm that can hurt you then thing can turn to be bad

that's it

make me have to hurry back to exercise

get myself and my mentally ready

still not ready for that to come back but gotta take it one way or another

not really ready

not ready at all

never want to and never try to

i just dont want to do it

period

then come home watch another movie chronicle- or something like that

interesting movie

sad part - tif he has better brain, he might turn out to be pretty good future

sadly nothing is right in his life

not totally happy day today,but gotta take it

gotta move on

Thoughts

Last night I'm back to cell 2 again for training.

I thought I will have trainer, but man! I was wrong.

Anyway I ended up with 215 beads and hoping I could do better tonight.

Still hope they put me to work upfront for awhile.

 By the way talking about last night, since I have to limit myself about 69 beads an hour so I do have some free time to write stuffs down.

Then my first thought was write plan for the blog

 First page will be just my diary like this one that I try my best to keep up everyday

 Second page will be my couponing thing. Nothing socially like facebook page that I'm in but everything about my buying scenario, coupons that I have from that Sunday and when I'm going to stores. Stores that I usually purchase which will be target, walmart, walgreen, hyvee, fareway and dahls. Also place where I buy my coupons from.

Websites that I use for my decision and Also those freebies plus my stockpile and also freebies that I get in that day.

 Everything just me how I use coupon to maximize my saving and stockpile without being spend too much money on it.

Third my cooking life. Video is a must and recipe for things like menu for elderly with health conditions like my dad, kids with picky eaterer habit, people who on controlling for food and also 3 more recipe for house party, food in big amount like donation and also menu for weekday and weekend.

 Review of restaurant that I visit and price stuffs Good and bad of the food.

 I can't think anything else but I will add more if I can think of something else

Forth, gardening -- things to grow in Iowa-- my backyard how can I grow my vegetables and tips.

 Just successful I have and plan to do gardening bed and trees on the side. I will only focus on my garden and that's it Carrot, broccoli, apple tree, plum Tree, tomatoes, okra, sweet basil, bells, eggplants, chili's, I will only want sunflower and morning glory in my yard.

 Not flower fan.

Fifth, volunteer position that I did, do and will do in future. Where to fond. How it's for me. Sixth, I think that's all because my exercise will he part of my diary so no need to have page for that. I will great and exciting to have this on going.

Woohooo!!

you just made my day

today i woke up like usual at 10 and again back to bed --

woke up again at 12 due to my sis called then back to bed

then up again cuz the rescue called then again yes1

now im up

checked the mail--

poo-ya

i got my boots-- woohoo

i got my boots

my brown boots with size 8.5

perfect size

everything just great -just for my boots

anyhow back to the thing im going to write about

my hubby's big bro is getting married again-- his third time now

 it is a charm,right

i know it is

then talk a bit aboutmy work

now tom sent me to train on cell 2 which is up front area with pong

awesome

awesome

i will take my time and do it real good

i hope he put me up front so stay away from all drama

i will love that

bunches of people on ans

nice nice

hope they will keep me a lot longer

put couple people to night

oh well that's the way they do again

i dont care

just keep my up front as long as possible

i will take my time to learn and do almost 300 so they wont qualify me fast enough

hehe

atually all i care is i can do pretty good with it and perfet with

be a good builder

another thing

i think if i start writing thing here before i go talkto others

my excitment

my sadness

my anger

my feeling will be reduce by much

it is a good thing so

talk to myself

keep write thing down

still don't feel back to love my hubby yet

the no you don't care about me feeling still lingering

don't know how long,but i usually takes a while

i dont care much

it comes a goes

i can blame it on everything

still no no it

even sometimes i almost feel like go get it

oh oh talking about garden bed-- i should have it monday- let's see

i might check if i could ask for those stuffs the wood block from factory

will see

but i kinda like it

okay that's it for now- gotta go chek my boots

and do a few things



The vow

Just finished that the vow movie Okay

 I must say he is nice and she is stupid brat daddy's girl.

 I don't really care if she is or isn't now,but it is just stupid thing.

So far I think it is pretty stupid movie and I just don't care much about it.

Only thing like is she just still try to getting to know herself and that's it.

I love the word that he said I He could take shit,but not a punching bag.

 That s awesome.

Okay talking about my stupid things that I did on scene yesterday

 Left my partner

Well start with this first --

 pager went off,but I didn't know because I didn't charge it So blame on me--

 big time Got there-- not ready and still haven't have my gear ready --

 gotta work on that Ran around make them think I'm panic Maybe I was,but it was totally stupid of me Stupid stupid---

 do thing faster next time

Get all gear done and be ready

don't leave the partner

 and stay with your partner all thetime

 Don't tunnel version--

 watch what is around you--

 keep eyes on Then came home more stupid shit happened--

Well argument with hubby Did I expect that-

 no,but it happened and one glad thing--

 I still have no it with him.

 Lucky me All I have to say lucky me

Should I Shouldn't I Shouldn't

Best way to live my life

Might be too late if I want some,but still I think it is the best interest for me and it

No

 no

 and no

 I might want,but it won't be good for anyone --

 especially for it A who know I mightn't in condition to have

 anyway Just forget about it

 Okay back to next call

 We walked into the pile of fire with no hose--

 haha seriously what did I thinking Okay well but it turned out okay--

no more call--

 good thing that mean it is all fired up.

Awesome Still not happy but I cam live with it

phew....

that's crazy -- how things turn these days

been really busy plus tons of things change so no time to write anything at all

,but hey new days, new things happened

and im going to try again to keep posting what is going on

well talking about myself right now

woohoo already past my probir volunteer firefighter -yeah baby, and

yes im already turned in my homework so all i have to do is wait for it and go get my uniform yeah baby

sick and didn't go to work for almost a month,but things is getting better now

it was really weird - i think i had miscarriadged and stuffs due to those systomps, i had which leaded docs to think i had that

but every doctors said different things

first doc- misscarridges

second doc - allergy

third one - loosing balance in the ear

forth one also loosing 60 percents balance in the left ear

so i guess they all go with balance in the ears- seem easiest way to treat, i guess

then i went back to visit my mom last christmas and thisyear or next year

im going back again possible get tattoo too- will be my next and might be last -let's see

she is doing great and im so happy to see her also it is a real relief to let her know that she has granddaughter

what  else...hmmmm.....

did some good things

bad things

was in bad times- picked the flight with hubby

was in good time, never leave him alone- i know that he doesn't  like it much

oh now we are doing the kitchen so i will have the new kitchen so who know i can start posting my cooking things on it-- poo ya

what else.....

oh i start growing my garden and also start with 2 tress -- apple and plum-- they say it will take up to 5 years to 8 so i guess im still be here,but not  promise

i start doing cooking class with des moines education school and so far i had 2 classes and it all went great until my dad had stroke so i have to stop it awhile

i bought my bike now so in june 8 to 10, i will take class and that is what im going to ride from that day-- still need to get license for it though

saw couple stuffs that i need to do including snokling and paragliding -- saw them on good deal so i will take it

bought paintball deal which will do that with jd soon-- can't wait

finally i planned to have kid and so in about few months, i will go take the implanon out

i will have about 3years before turn 35 to complete my navy dream-- still need to do it

still want to complete my paramedic for my firefighter things

also fire inspector and officer -- possible instructor, i would love that

so far seem things going well,but i know life  always have up and down

oh well jd's id is coming back this summer so it will be hell for me again ,but i will do whatever it takes

plan a road trip and hope thing will be just fine--

did i mention i plants the trees--

oh okay i did

what else....hmmmm....

i start do couponing so i will soon show you my stockpile--

i don't do like extreme couponer cause i have something else to do and yes, im happy with it

what week, i have a good deal,  i will go with it

and i still haven't finish my 2 couponing books yet- gotta finish them

start to seeling stuffs online,but so far nobody interested--

i might have to start that on ebay

will see

bought too much stufs on ebay since last month say 200 dollars- damn

why did i buy all those

anyway i planned to sel some stuffs back since i got some for cheaper

i think im okay and i know that im okay

okay that's it for today

หมูหวาน

หมูหวาน


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copied from someone from pantip