what if?

 i keep asking myself everyday same questions

what if i didn't come here  in the first place what my life will be right now?

what if i didn't stay at that house in that morning?

what if i didn't ignore my scholarship to go to wsu or tu 10 years ago?

what if i didn't answer his e-mail?

what if my sister didn't insist me to drop me here?

what if...... 

i have life full of what if and regret -- i ain't gonna lie to you,but then when people asking me what have i regret the most..

i can't even answer 

because my regret comes along with what if

am i happy? 

i don't even know

am i enough with that i have? 

i don't even know what i have 

what do i want the most? 

i don't even know maybe paper,but then if i have paper-- what's next? 

i don't know

am i happy? 

am i? 

do i make somebodyelse happy? 

i don't know and i am quite sure that the answer is no

am i a happy person?

i have definately say i used to be --not anymore

been 4years in hell -- around people that i don't even really know them

am i happy? 

am i? 

am i?